Haha. Also, it kills you.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
I hate you so much, Dick Tracy
Dick Tracy, 8/22/08:
Wow, Dick Tracy, and here I thought you beat the Sherlock Holmes puns into the ground way back with the Hounds of Baskerville, but, no, you have to go and have her nabbed by James Moriarty himself. Awesome. Thanks. There isn't even a clever plot here to go along with the puns; in the actual Hounds of the Baskerville, it's a genuine mystery, but here? Here we get bank robbers who use dogs and whistles, which is clearly a better system than, like, automatic weapons.
Archie, 8/22/08:
"Hmm, Jughead needs an ugly conversation piece. Oh, I know - a human head. That is the first thing that comes to mind. In fact, after drawing Archie for many years, it's the only thing that comes to mind. All I see when I close my eyes. A decapitated human head.
"Wacky!"
Mark Trail, 8/22/08:
Oh, trust us, we are.
Wow, Dick Tracy, and here I thought you beat the Sherlock Holmes puns into the ground way back with the Hounds of Baskerville, but, no, you have to go and have her nabbed by James Moriarty himself. Awesome. Thanks. There isn't even a clever plot here to go along with the puns; in the actual Hounds of the Baskerville, it's a genuine mystery, but here? Here we get bank robbers who use dogs and whistles, which is clearly a better system than, like, automatic weapons.
Archie, 8/22/08:
"Hmm, Jughead needs an ugly conversation piece. Oh, I know - a human head. That is the first thing that comes to mind. In fact, after drawing Archie for many years, it's the only thing that comes to mind. All I see when I close my eyes. A decapitated human head.
"Wacky!"
Mark Trail, 8/22/08:
Oh, trust us, we are.
Monday, August 18, 2008
When comics fail...
Archie, 8/18/08:
Wow, well done Archie. You've managed to note an event. I can't wait for the rest of this week's thrilling installments. Maybe we'll get "Did you get a car wash?" or maybe that old laugh-fest "I don't remember a tree being there. Oh well."
Herb and Jamaal, 8/18/08:
It's adorable how easily unpinned her faith will become upon the most basic of enlightenment. That or she will begin to worship basic folding patterns. Either would make for a pretty good week of strips.
The Phantom, 8/18/08:
Wow. I think this might actually be the least amount of action in any soap strip, as there's no dialog and the establishing shot is of two unexciting ships. Well done, Phantom. You've raised the bar for unexciting ways to start the week.
Wow, well done Archie. You've managed to note an event. I can't wait for the rest of this week's thrilling installments. Maybe we'll get "Did you get a car wash?" or maybe that old laugh-fest "I don't remember a tree being there. Oh well."
Herb and Jamaal, 8/18/08:
It's adorable how easily unpinned her faith will become upon the most basic of enlightenment. That or she will begin to worship basic folding patterns. Either would make for a pretty good week of strips.
The Phantom, 8/18/08:
Wow. I think this might actually be the least amount of action in any soap strip, as there's no dialog and the establishing shot is of two unexciting ships. Well done, Phantom. You've raised the bar for unexciting ways to start the week.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Animals Rule the Funnies
Dick Tracy 8/14/08
Ok, seriously, Dick Tracy. Various people have been partially ripped to shreds for a week by these dogs. Seeing as your M.O. is generally "kill the villain in the most gruesome way possible," why not just shoot the hellbeasts?
My theory: Dick Tracy lives in a parallel universe where animal rights activists are far more powerful than human rights activists, and so while the mauling of a criminal is generally applauded, executing a ferocious dog would cause an inconceivable media backlash. That, or the artist just really likes drawing people getting ripped into Cerberus kibble.
Wizard of Id 8/14/08
IN THE MIND OF THE CARTOONIST: "Wow, I just thought of a really good frog pun. Too bad it has nothing to do with the basic premise of my strip. Maybe the frogs could be men who were changed into frogs by the wizard....nah, I'll just run the frog pun."
Mark Trail 8/14/08
Emotionless Robot-woman with Idiotic Tart versus adorable cougar kittens.
I think we know who everyone is rooting for.
Ok, seriously, Dick Tracy. Various people have been partially ripped to shreds for a week by these dogs. Seeing as your M.O. is generally "kill the villain in the most gruesome way possible," why not just shoot the hellbeasts?My theory: Dick Tracy lives in a parallel universe where animal rights activists are far more powerful than human rights activists, and so while the mauling of a criminal is generally applauded, executing a ferocious dog would cause an inconceivable media backlash. That, or the artist just really likes drawing people getting ripped into Cerberus kibble.
Wizard of Id 8/14/08
IN THE MIND OF THE CARTOONIST: "Wow, I just thought of a really good frog pun. Too bad it has nothing to do with the basic premise of my strip. Maybe the frogs could be men who were changed into frogs by the wizard....nah, I'll just run the frog pun."Mark Trail 8/14/08
Emotionless Robot-woman with Idiotic Tart versus adorable cougar kittens.I think we know who everyone is rooting for.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Comics Rewritten! Yay!
Fred Basset, 8/7/08:
GIANT DOG. ENJOY.
Gil Thorp, 8/7/08:
"Not to be a gigantic dick, but mind if I question your occupation -- nay, your life? The existence of your superiors renders you obsolete. Why haven't you killed yourself? I won't stand around to listen to your answer. I have to get to a baseball game I'm driving 5 hours for."
Marvin, 8/7/08:
"I hate you, child. Cower as I throw this billiard ball at you. Once I finish with you, I'm going to find that bipedal dog of ours..."
GIANT DOG. ENJOY.
Gil Thorp, 8/7/08:
"Not to be a gigantic dick, but mind if I question your occupation -- nay, your life? The existence of your superiors renders you obsolete. Why haven't you killed yourself? I won't stand around to listen to your answer. I have to get to a baseball game I'm driving 5 hours for."
Marvin, 8/7/08:
"I hate you, child. Cower as I throw this billiard ball at you. Once I finish with you, I'm going to find that bipedal dog of ours..."
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
A Day Late, But Just As Sad
Mary Worth, 8/4/08:
Like I would imagine most readers did, I read this and assumed it was just some blatant in-strip advertisement for a website. I'm actually pretty ok with product placements when handled decently, ala 30 Rock's advertisements for Snapple and all things GE, so this by itself did nothing to offend me. Taking three days of a strip to offer some awkward, jangled train of thought about purchasing a DVD from a store is not doing this well, however, so I thought I'd mock it.
In fact, I had this whole little strip written in my head about mocking it for product placement for Enormoushop.com, as it's so awkward and obvious. Then, though, I decided to check it out myself to get some material...only to find it's not real.
I'm not sure if this makes things better or worse. I side with worse -- there's little excuse for writing as bad as Toby's inner monologue over Ian's gift, but I could mockably excuse it for product placement. For just straight writing? That's abominable. Just...just horrid.
For shame, Mary Worth...couldn't you have gotten a couple bucks and done Amazon? Even without the money, at least things would've made sense. For shame.
Like I would imagine most readers did, I read this and assumed it was just some blatant in-strip advertisement for a website. I'm actually pretty ok with product placements when handled decently, ala 30 Rock's advertisements for Snapple and all things GE, so this by itself did nothing to offend me. Taking three days of a strip to offer some awkward, jangled train of thought about purchasing a DVD from a store is not doing this well, however, so I thought I'd mock it.
In fact, I had this whole little strip written in my head about mocking it for product placement for Enormoushop.com, as it's so awkward and obvious. Then, though, I decided to check it out myself to get some material...only to find it's not real.
I'm not sure if this makes things better or worse. I side with worse -- there's little excuse for writing as bad as Toby's inner monologue over Ian's gift, but I could mockably excuse it for product placement. For just straight writing? That's abominable. Just...just horrid.
For shame, Mary Worth...couldn't you have gotten a couple bucks and done Amazon? Even without the money, at least things would've made sense. For shame.
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Deconstruction of Meta-comics
Herb and Jamaal 7/31/08
Ha ha, Herb has a boring life. No really, he does. I read this every day. Still, there are some things about this comic I don't understand:
Fred Basset 7/31/07
Fred Basset pretty much has two styles of jokes: incredibly tame puns and self-aware meta-comics, as exemplified in today's installment. The incredibly tame puns are like my cup of mental earl grey tea in the morning. They are nicely drawn, gentle, and bring a feeling of contentment. The other kind, usually involving Fred in a blank white space accidentally knocking down the sides of the panels or talking to the camera, are like a disgusting cup of smack-the-reader-in-the-face. How can a cartoonist be so lazy and uncreativ...aww those ears in the third panel are just so darn cute! Next time, Fred Basset! Next Time!
Ha ha, Herb has a boring life. No really, he does. I read this every day. Still, there are some things about this comic I don't understand:- Is Herb's wife directing her rant at me, the reader? Does she not understand I cannot hear her thoughts, or is she so self-aware that she knows she is a character in a comic? Creepy.
- Is the wife's rant not actually a rant at all, but rather the text of the book she is reading? If so, is she reading a book about the comic she is currently in a la The Neverending Story? Still creepy (but if a big white dragon appears tomorrow, this comic will improve one thousand percent).
- Did Herb actually have to narrate twelve years of his life to himself in one night? That is, does he start from birth every night, or just start from where he left off the night before? If we're going with the whole self-aware comic hypothesis, Herb didn't even have a childhood. This is getting creepier the deeper we get into it.
- Most importantly, how could Herb possibly sleep when he is actively telling a story (even a boring story that no one would ever listen to)? Isn't that more or less not possible?
Fred Basset 7/31/07
Fred Basset pretty much has two styles of jokes: incredibly tame puns and self-aware meta-comics, as exemplified in today's installment. The incredibly tame puns are like my cup of mental earl grey tea in the morning. They are nicely drawn, gentle, and bring a feeling of contentment. The other kind, usually involving Fred in a blank white space accidentally knocking down the sides of the panels or talking to the camera, are like a disgusting cup of smack-the-reader-in-the-face. How can a cartoonist be so lazy and uncreativ...aww those ears in the third panel are just so darn cute! Next time, Fred Basset! Next Time!
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